All of us have that one friend who hesitates to even step out of the house without permission or stay out for a bit late. Here pops up a question in our mind “why his parents are so strict?” Those parents are not strict they are just being helicopter parents.
You might be thinking what this term “helicopter parents” is?
These parents are so called because they hover over their children like helicopters, examining each and every step of their children from studies to their eating habits.
This may sound good to you and, yes it is good from some aspects but as it is said “excess of everything is bad” thus over protection of kids also has a negative result and affects the kid in several ways;
- Low confidence level
Kids raised by helicopter parents are most likely to be shy and scared; hanging back in public and competitions of life. Secondly the child ends up with a low self-esteem that never allows him to choose for himself or do something solely.
“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings”-Ann Landers.
- Immaturity and under development of brain
Helicopter parenting does not allow children to face the world and cope up with their life problems; parents are always there to rescue them in any difficult situation, not allowing them to learn from their mistakes. Moreover the decision making skills of a child are affected even from choosing the shirt colour to as big as choosing a life partner or a career, the child can never understand his own will.
“Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy”, said Robert A. Heinlein.
- Anger and anxiety
A kid that has never seen failures panics when left alone in life to compete. The realisation of not being capable of anything leads them to depression and they end up shouting and yelling at minor issues. Helicoptered child is always expecting praises because his parents never let him experience defeat that leads them to develop mental issues.
“Real protection means teaching children to manage risks on their own, not shielding them from every hazard”, said Wendy Mogel.
- Spoiled kids
Most of the spoiled brats that we come across are a result of getting helicoptered. Their parents try to make them best and so they expect everything to be served on a plate everywhere and by everyone.
Beside all the negative impacts of helicoptering on a child, parents might benefit from it. Firstly parents get joy and happiness by getting involved in their child’s life. Secondly parents feel satisfied by protecting their child from all the obstacles in life which also makes them feel like a good parent.
However psychologists have a different view about these parents
According to study some parents regret the decisions they made in their lives and so they over protect their child to prevent them repeat the same mistake. While some parents love their child to such an extent that they can’t let them face any problem in life.
According to The study, published in the journal Developmental Psychology, found that over controlled parenting can negatively affect a child’s ability to manage his or her emotions and behaviour.
This can also be caused by insecurity and lack of trust of parents for their kid which eventually results in scrutinising each and every aspect of their children lives. Parental insecurity leads to a liar and feared child because as it is said “over protective parents raise the best liar”.
Also this causes overthinking in parents when they constantly worry about their children lives. Most of the time they think about their decision for the child in order to decide best for him.
Similarly a psychologist said that “Our research showed that children with helicopter parents may be less able to deal with the challenging demands of growing up, especially with navigating the complex school environment,” said Nicole B. Perry, PhD, from the University of Minnesota, and lead author of the study.
This means children with over protected childhood have lack of communication skills. A textbook said that helicopter parent tends to remove obstacles that their children face in order to encourage them to succeed.
This clearly highlights that children need to make mistakes to learn which they are not allowed by a helicopter parent.
Research by Ellen Sandseter, a professor of early-childhood education at Queen Maud University College in Trondheim, Norway, has found that kids who spend more time exploring on their own before the age of nine are less likely to have anxiety and separation issues as adults.
Finally helicopter parents may seem responsible parents but helicopter parenting does not affect the child personality positively.